is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
