You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
