nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
