i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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