he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
