how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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