Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
accomplished twins. life is a go
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
