I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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