I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
