Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
