He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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