i permit you to call me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
