I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
