Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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