maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
