You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
