Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
how drunk are you?
Several
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
