Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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