those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
