Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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