nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
