i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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