by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
