2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
