What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
