He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
