dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
