with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
