Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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