i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
