i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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