My friends, they love my intelligence
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
