Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
