you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
