i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
