that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
