Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
