You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
