I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
