I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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