I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
