Dual....:-)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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