he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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