i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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