i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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