I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
