You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
