he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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