Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
