i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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