Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
