is wine microwaveable?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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