U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
