i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
