Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
