did you get engaged???
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
