chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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